These last days have been getting better with Jim... and Jhony.
Last week a friend of mine called Nahomi, put me in the middle of a joke she was doing with Jim, so I got him to look at me in a better way. Any other way he wouldn't ever talk to me. So Im excited! Also last week, Jhony bought me a drink! Of course, still as friends, but today I cought him playing with my hand like wanting to hold it... Jhony and I have gotten closer and closer everytime, but I'm afraid we're getting closer in a different way, more like BF closer. But, you know, there's a start. Back with Jim [I owe Nahomi so much!], he said ''hi'' to me today, and very friendly by the way! He kinda holded me from the back and kissed my cheek! Yeah, I know maybe I'm getting a little too happy, but I don't know, it's just, it's been too long since I talked to Jim and Jhony wasn't even a friend to me before, so... Let's just hope tomorrow could be a better day than today!
Feb 16, 2010
Feb 9, 2010
Normal recess... 'till it's very end
Ate, laughed and, at the end, cried.
I saw him again, as always.
He ignored me (knowing I'm there), as always,
but I didn't know it was for somebody else.
I saw her. I thought I would only go jealous, but he broke my heart instead.
Took the pieces of what he had broke before, and turned it into dust, thinking he'd get me mad, ignoring the chance of bleeding out my heart.
Now I don't even have the strength to cry, not even to talk.
I think three years are enough to make you fall apart for someone with such history with you.
I've forgotten where I am, why am I here? Why did I even bother?
Guess he never truly knew the reason why I faded out of his friendship:
I didn't, I don't want that, not just that.
He left hugging her, looking back at me,
not understanding what he was doing.
I saw the drawing of a heart with his name on my hand.
And I erased it, just like he erased my hopes and fantasies of at least looking at him with no hurt inside.
My pain is so hard that not even Jhony can make me forget about it.
My friends are worried. They should be. I don't know what I'm gonna do now...
I saw him again, as always.
He ignored me (knowing I'm there), as always,
but I didn't know it was for somebody else.
I saw her. I thought I would only go jealous, but he broke my heart instead.
Took the pieces of what he had broke before, and turned it into dust, thinking he'd get me mad, ignoring the chance of bleeding out my heart.
Now I don't even have the strength to cry, not even to talk.
I think three years are enough to make you fall apart for someone with such history with you.
I've forgotten where I am, why am I here? Why did I even bother?
Guess he never truly knew the reason why I faded out of his friendship:
I didn't, I don't want that, not just that.
He left hugging her, looking back at me,
not understanding what he was doing.
I saw the drawing of a heart with his name on my hand.
And I erased it, just like he erased my hopes and fantasies of at least looking at him with no hurt inside.
My pain is so hard that not even Jhony can make me forget about it.
My friends are worried. They should be. I don't know what I'm gonna do now...
Feb 1, 2010
Because of her?
I have friend who's known for her BO. She's a very nice friend, but sometimes when I'm with her, I have to be alone with her. Nobody likes to be around her, sometimes it even hurts me.
Her name's Valerie, and she shares the same class I share with Jhony. Actually, her seat is right in front of his, and... I don't know if he's that shallow or if she smells that bad but, everytime Jhony "smells" something he moves apart from his desk and goes next to mine, just to get away from her. Well... that's what would be normal to happen, although in my situation you'd think I would imagine it would be a very different reason.
I'm scared she's the only reason why he's around me at all. I mean... he only speaks to me when he has a doubt or wants to borrow something. And, of course, to complain about the smell.
I know I've said I've seen a difference in the way he looks at me, but, well on my place any girl would think whatever she wants to, just to ignore the real reason (at least on my case).
Valerie didn't come to school today and Jhony almost didn't even looked at me. I was heartbroken. I guess she really is the only reason why he would ever see me.
Her name's Valerie, and she shares the same class I share with Jhony. Actually, her seat is right in front of his, and... I don't know if he's that shallow or if she smells that bad but, everytime Jhony "smells" something he moves apart from his desk and goes next to mine, just to get away from her. Well... that's what would be normal to happen, although in my situation you'd think I would imagine it would be a very different reason.
I'm scared she's the only reason why he's around me at all. I mean... he only speaks to me when he has a doubt or wants to borrow something. And, of course, to complain about the smell.
I know I've said I've seen a difference in the way he looks at me, but, well on my place any girl would think whatever she wants to, just to ignore the real reason (at least on my case).
Valerie didn't come to school today and Jhony almost didn't even looked at me. I was heartbroken. I guess she really is the only reason why he would ever see me.
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