Overthinking

Maybe I pushed my hopes up
Maybe I thought you were greater
Somehow it all faded away
For some reason everything changed
...again

Now I'm thinking about going back to Jupiter
but is still not what I'm looking for.
I'm considering maybe HE is the one I'm missing
I was left out with left overs of the Royal Dinner.

I know he's fine
I don't know if he's happy, but I know he's fine.
I know he is still with his girlfriend,
I know she is his choice
and I know she likes him a lot.

I'm trying not to be a part of his life anymore
I'm trying to leave him alone
But, he's still looking for me
He's still staring
He's still checking to see if I'm looking
He's still downcast.

Maybe he's feeling the same way I do.
Maybe he's missing that too,
Perhaps he has that hole as well,
That empty space with nothing to fill in with.

I feel sorry to be on this side now.
I feel like now I'm the bad guy.
I know is not like it was before but
...I really feel that something with them.

They're looking different at me...
The Prince is looking, and thinking I guess...
The little one is not at all, either he really doesn't care
...or I broke the kid down.

And Him, it's always more difficult with Him.
I just see him like he doesn't really care,
is incredible how much he changed
it all started with me I guess...

Well, all I hope for now is
to have strength enough to overcome this
to find a shoulder to cry in
or maybe I'll be fine just writing in the middle of the night
just like right now...

...is so easy to write, say or think the words "I love you"
but not many people know what that means.
maybe I don't know either yet.

But I know what is like to feel missing,
to be empty,
to feel like "now what do I do?"
"now that is over, what's next?"

I still dream of talking to Him like the friends we once were
not the same way I dreamed it before
but I do miss him...
...no, is not Him,
I miss feeling something for somebody
I miss that closeness
I miss that drama
I miss being hurt.