On board?

I'm worried, I'm scared.
Me, more so than anyone else.
these days are counted, there's not much time left
Suddenly I feel like the clock is moving faster everytime
I'm disappointed with myself, I can't believe this is over without even started.
I still remember the first time I saw him, he was so silly.
He got me just because of being silly.

Back then I didn't know what I had,
Now I regret so much the way I just let him go.

Is very awkward to pretend we're cool,
we know we're not.
He tries not to look at me when we're in the same conversation,
He's so obvious!

I'm confused, I love him and I totally understand if he doesn't feel the same way,
But then why does he keep caring?
He should be just proud he's making some girl's life impossible.
But he's not.
He looks back at me like saying:
"Let's go back two years ago when we could've been something"
He keeps trying to make me jealous with girls I know are out of his league.
He does all those things and more, but when is time to say "hello" he backs down like saying: "I'm just a friend"
He's crazy and I love him because of that.
But... can't he decide if he's on board?

Monday 06,09

I dont know what to think anymore
And it's not like all this time I've known what to think
I need you to go
But I want you to stay
How is it possible that one person stands out of a crowd of millions of people?
How is it possible that two single words can hide and show so much?!
I've never felt like this before
I've never hated and loved so much the way you look at me.

I'm scared, I know some very important day is comming over
and I have to do something.
But how to do something nice if I can't even say "hi" in the morning?
How to pet the dog if it keeps trying to bite you?
I owe it, I know.
And I need it. I need one of those hugs of you.
Those that make me tremble, those that I haven't gotten in a long time.

I don't wanna do it, you know it.
Could you please return the favor and not do it either?
I don't wanna think of the very high possiblity that you may not love me.
Is it so hard to do something that proves it?
I don't know what the heck I see in you that makes me love you like this
And I get that a lot.

wednesday 1, 09

Is always nice to know you're not alone
Is always great to see people care about you
And is funny, somehow, to see how the little things they do light up your day.
There are times when I dont wanna know what to think
To see them together even when they're apart hurts
I hate that they dont know what they doing!
I hate the fact that I still care about it!
Is just something you can see in his eyes...
the way he looks at her is so much different... he changes himself upside down when she's around, is nice to see him so happy though.

I thought it was just some kind of crush!
guess it isn't
I care too much
And the worst thing is he knows I'm there and he won't even look at me.
I feel sorry for him, and for her!
she's suppossed to have a boyfriend already, what is she doing then?
he knows she's got a boyfriend, what's the point anyway?

I can't stay there just looking at them like that
He's so not for me and I know that, I've been hearing it since I met him!
But there's a reason, and I don't know what it is, that makes me wanna care.
They're so hard to ignore
I have to go away from there
for my own sake.